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Would You Rather Wednesday: Free Starbucks for a Year or Free iTunes Songs Forever?

I’m going to start a new tradition on my blog called ‘Would You Rather Wednesday.’ Every Wednesday, I’m going to ask a random ‘Would You Rather?’ question and I want all of my dear friends and readers to answer it. I’m going to be doing this every Wednesday for a while (unless it’s a total failure and no one ever answers them).

Would you rather have free Starbucks for a year or free iTunes songs forever?

Starbucks LogoORiTunes Logo

You Decide!

The Story of a Prospective Search Engine Optimization Client

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had the conversation with this video when talking to a prospective client. People have no idea what search engine optimization truly is and think all we do is put a bunch of keywords on a page and then it automatically ranks. I remember a conversation I had with a client in which they told me, ‘Flip whatever magic switch you have and make my website number one on Google.’ It was probably one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard and the client was 100% serious about it.

For all of my friends in the search industry, I know you all feel my pain, but at least we can laugh about it.

How Bad Do You Want It?

Check out this great inspirational video which asks the simple question, “How Bad Do You Want It?” I hate when people say that they can’t do something or they tell me that it is impossible. What is stopping you from doing whatever you want to? You have the power to change your life and accomplish whatever you desire. Just ask yourself, “How Bad Do YOU Want It?”

Video Transcript:

[Eric Thomas – Motivational Speaker]

There was a young man, you know, who wanted to make a lot of money and so he went to this guru, right. And he told the guru you know I wanna be on the same level you are and the guru said if you wanna be on the same level I’m on, I’ll met you tomorrow at the beach.

[Eric Thomas]

So the young man got there 4 A.M. he already to rock n’ roll. Got on a suit should of wore shorts. The old man grabs his hand and said: How bad do you wanna be successful? He said: “Real bad”. He said: Walk on out in the water. So he walks out into the water. Watch this. When he walks out to the water he goes waist deep and goes like this guy crazy.

[Eric Thomas]

Hey ( ) I wanna make money and he got me out here swimming. I didn’t ask to be a lifeguard. I wanna make money he got me in – so he said come on a little further – walked out a little further – then he had it right around this area – the shoulder area – so this old man crazy – he making money but he crazy. So he said come on out a little further – came out a little further, it was right at his mouth – my man, I’m not about to go back in this guy is out of his mind. And the old man said: “I thought you said you wanted to be successful?” He said: “I do.” He said: “Then walk a little further.” He came, dropped his head in, held him down, hold him down, my man (kept scratching) hold him down, he had him held down, just before my man was about to pass out, he raised him up. He said: “I got a question for you.” He told the guy, he said: “When you want to succeed as bad as you wanna breathe then you will be successful.”

[Eric Thomas]

I don’t know how many of you all got asthma here today? If you ever had a asthma attack before your short of breath S.O.B shortness of breath, you wheezing (breath sound) the only thing you trying to do is get some air. You don’t care about no basketball game, you don’t care about what’s on T.V., you don’t care about nobody calling you, you don’t care about a party. The only thing you care about when you trying to breathe is to get some fresh air. That’s it! And when you get to the point where all you wanna do is be is successful as bad as you wanna breathe then you will be successful. And I’m here to tell you that number one, most of you say you wanna be successful but you don’t want it bad, you just kind of want it. You don’t want it bad than you wanna party. You don’t want it as much as you want to be cool. Most of you don’t want success as much as you want sleep. Some of you lost sleep more than you lost success. And I’m here to tell you today, if your going to be successful you gotta be willing to give up sleep. You gotta be willing to work with 3 hours of sleep – 2 hours of sleep, if you really wanna be successful. Some day your gonna have to stay up 3 days in a row. Because if you go to sleep you might miss the opportunity to be successful. That’s how bad you gotta (inaudible).

[Eric Thomas]

You gotta go days without – LISTEN TO ME! You gotta want to be successful so bad that you forget to eat. My ( ) said say, once she was on the set doing her thang, three days had gone by and she forgot that she didn’t eat. Cause she was engaged. I never forget, I went, 50 Cent was doing his movie, I did a little research on 50 and 50 said: that when he wasn’t do the movie he was doing the soundtrack. And they said: “When do you sleep?” 50, and 50 said: “Sleep, sleep is for those people who are broke. I don’t sleep.” See I got an opportunity to make my dream become a reality. Don’t cry to quits. You already in pain, you already hurt. Get a reward from it. Don’t go to sleep until you succeed. Listen to me, I’m here to tell you today you can come here and and you can jump up – you can do flips and you can be excited when we give away money but listen to me, you will never be successful, I don’t have to give you a dime if you ( ) You won’t be successful until you say I don’t need that money cause I got it in here.

Only The Strong Survive.

When you want to succeed as bad as you wanna breathe then you will be successful.

Dates of Google Panda Updates

Google Panda Update DatesI’m compiling a report for one of my clients and I was trying to show them how their traffic was affected by Panda and I couldn’t find a quick list of the dates that Google released all of the Panda updates. To make my life easier (and maybe yours), I’ve compiled the below Google Panda update list which shows the dates when people started seeing changes in their rankings. I will try to update this list after every Panda update as a quick resource.

Google Panda Update Dates:

  • Google Panda 1.0 – February 24th
  • Google Panda 2.0 – April 11th
  • Google Panda 2.1 – May 9th
  • Google Panda 2.2 – June 18th
  • Google Panda 2.3 – July 22nd
Hope this helps!

Head Smacking Internet Marketing Quotes

Did You Really Just Say That?I was reading Conversion Marketing and I came across this great list of internet marketing quotes that are absolutely hilarious (and sadly true).

  1. “We don’t need marketing. Our product is great.” I’d punch you, but I’m paralyzed by the stupid.
  2. “We need to test that, first.” No, you don’t. You don’t have to test whether having a ‘buy now’ button makes people buy more stuff.
  3. SEO is a fraud. Everyone knows you just buy PPC, and you’ll rank higher.” Yup. You cracked the code. Google pulverized Yahoo!, Microsoft and everyone else with that magical formula. You’re a genius.
  4. “I can’t order the development team to do anything. I’m just the CEO.” Did Obi-Wan do a mind trick on you? Or were there monkeys? Terrifying space monkeys?
  5. “Semantic SEO means putting more keywords on the home page.” Oh. God. I’m in the presence of genius.
  6. “You can change anything you want. Just don’t change anything.” To be fair, the speaker then blinked, and we both laughed. But it was tinged with hysteria.
  7. “We found a firm that’ll do it for $1500.” ‘It’ was a complete site redesign and shopping cart rebuild. ‘It’ never got done. ‘They’ didn’t learn anything from the experience.
  8. SEO? Oh, we’re set. We’ve got links in the footer.” OK. You won’t mind if I put my footer someplace tender, right? Said in 2009, not 1999, by the way.
  9. “If we need organic traffic, we’ll call Google.” My jaw broke when it hit the floor.
  10. “Website leads are a distraction.” So’s oxygen. Please stop breathing.
  11. “Should I translate my site into Belorussian?” Not unless you’re setting up a store in Eastern Europe, no.
  12. “$250 for an article? That’s way too expensive.” My bad. I thought you wanted stuff people could read. You probably want our Babbling Idiot Content Plan…
  13. “Why aren’t my rankings improving? I’m paying you, aren’t I?!” Yes, you’re right. Paying me is what matters. Not actually following my recommendations. Once you pay me, good rankings magically emerge from my left nostril.
  14. “We aren’t getting any traffic! We need a mobile app!” I’m not losing weight! I need red paint!
  15. “I just don’t think your work made a difference.” I understand. You hired us. The next day, your paid search cost-per-sale dropped 35%. Your ROI rose 50%. It must’ve been the marketing elves.
  16. “We needed a firm with more years of SEO experience.” So, if I were Chuck Norris, you’d pass me up for someone with a better roundhouse kick?
  17. “I need a white hat SEO firm that can buy me some links…” And I need a Democrat who can get to the point. We’re both dreamers.
  18. “We’ll submit your RSS feed to our content network, getting you lots of links!” Just got this in my inbox a few minutes ago. I gotta go get my credit card…

Article courtesy of Conversion Marketing and entitled Quotes that make me cry inside.

Have you been the victim of any of the above quotes? Have any to add to the list? Leave it in the comments!

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