Hilarious To Do List

Hilarious To Do ListQuick shout-out to Arel Moodie for the idea for this blog post (I basically stole it from something he posted on Facebook). Check out the list, you won’t be disappointed!

  1. Wear shirt that says “Life”. Hand out lemons on street corner.
  2. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
  3. Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.
  4. Go into a crowded elevator and say, “I bet you’re all wondering why I gathered you here,” with a straight face.
  5. Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
  6. Become a teacher. Make a test where every answer is “C”. Enjoy the show.
  7. Buy a horse, name it “Oscar Takes The Lead,” enter it in horse races.
  8. Invite someone into your office, turn around in office chair and say, “I’ve been expecting you…”
  9. Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say,”Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot!”
  10. Follow joggers around in a car blasting “Eye of the Tiger” for encouragement
  11. Put blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle. Drink it in public.
  12. Buy four pigs. Paint 1, 2, 3, and 5 on each pig. Let them loose in a mall and watch security try to find number 4.
  13. Smack a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson’s No More Tears shampoo. Sue Johnson & Johnson for false advertising.
  14. Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes into your friend’s soda. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
  15. Buy a turtle. Name it “The Speed of Light.” Tell everyone that I can run faster than The Speed of Light.
  16. Sneeze in front of the pope. Get blessed.
  17. Buy CD of ice cream truck music. Drive down the street blasting it. Watch kids get disappointed.
  18. Go trick-or-treating on April fool’s day.
  19. Jump into a taxi and scream “Follow that car!”
  20. Walk into Sea World with a fishing pole.
  21. Make an alcoholic beverage and name it “responsibly.” Drink Responsibly.

What do you think?

You made it to the end of the list! How was it? What was your favorite item on the ‘To Do List’? Are you going to attempt any of them?

The Story of a Prospective Search Engine Optimization Client

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had the conversation with this video when talking to a prospective client. People have no idea what search engine optimization truly is and think all we do is put a bunch of keywords on a page and then it automatically ranks. I remember a conversation I had with a client in which they told me, ‘Flip whatever magic switch you have and make my website number one on Google.’ It was probably one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard and the client was 100% serious about it.

For all of my friends in the search industry, I know you all feel my pain, but at least we can laugh about it.

Charlie Sheen Parody – Winning

Check out Charlie Sheen’s newest hit song entitled “Winning”. This parody (Winning) is done by the same people (The Gregory Brothers) who created the “Bed Intruder Song” with Antoine Dodson. Definitely worth a listen to. Very creative. I really can’t believe some of the things that come out of Charlie Sheen’s mouth.

I’m on a drug called Charlie Sheen
It’s not available, if you try it once you will die
Your face will melt off
And your children will weep over your exploded body, over your exploded body

You love to party
What’s not to love?
The run I was on made Jagger and Richards look like
Droopy eyed armless children
That’s how I party
That’s how I party

I was bangin 7 gram rocks, that’s how I roll – winning
I have one gear: GO – epic winning
Are you bipolar?
I’m bi-winning
Win here, win there, win win everywhere

—– inspirational bridge —–

I’m a total frickin rock star from mars – winning
C’mon bro, I got tiger blood – winning
You borrow my brain and you’re like DUDE, can’t handle it
Win here, win there, win win everywhere

I’ve got a list — help me sort this
From the epic win to the desperately winless

Chicken nuggets – WINNING
Bubblegum – WINNING
Pretending to text to avoid someone – EPIC WINNING
Slow dancing – WINNING
Slow pantsing – WINNING
Breakin the rules of the Geneva conventions – WEAK

Adonis blood – WINNING
Violent love – WINNING
Givin needy women caresses and hugs – EPIC WINNING
Childbirth – WINNING
Colin Firth -WINNING
Tinky Winky’s purse………duh, WINNING, WINNING


Man Asks Yahoo Answers For Help Translating

I feel really bad for the person involved but this below Yahoo Answers question has to be one of the most interesting ones I’ve ever seen asked on the site. I really wonder how he was able to get this woman into bed without knowing one word of French? I suppose that would be another Yahoo Question as well.
Man Asks For French Translating Help From Yahoo Answers

Text From Above:
How do you say this phrase in french?

I would like to be able to say this in french:
I am sorry that I have gotten you pregnant but really, it’s kind of your fault for not believing in birth control or abortions, I must travel back to the United States where my wife and family are missing me. I may travel back one day to see the child.
Please translate quickly, my plane leaves in 7 hours.
Picture courtesy of

Scent of an NBA All Star

Los Angeles Lakers forward Lamar Odom and his wife Khloe Kardashian recently unveiled their own unisex cologne called “Unbreakable.” The Basketball Jones thought this might be the start of a trend, so they went down to Media Day to ask NBA All-Stars: If you had your own scent, what would you name it? Check out their hilarious responses.

TBJ LA: Scent of an All-Star from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

Video courtesy of Vimeo

Name Something You Pass Around

Okay so you’re on Family Feud and you’re really nervous and then Steve Harvey asks you, “We’ve got the top 6 answers on the board. Name something that gets passed around?” There’s loads of things that could instantly come to your head but this one I have to admit is awesome.

Video courtesy of YouTube

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